If...........................But It Is

Sometimes many things happen in our life which we neither can predict nor understand why this happened.I shall be telling you people regarding one of these incidents that changed a girl's life in such a way that still she couldn’t understand why this happened to her.Prateeksha Sanyal, a 55 years old psychology professor (Ballygunge Science College), lives in 36, Ballygunge Circular Road. A quite cozy homely apartment with a balcony that gives a quite wide view of the B. C. Road. Her husband works in a notable multinational company as an H R Executive, quite healthy paid. She has one daughter, Sanchita married just for 1 year and son, Abhyudaya studying nuclear physics at Bangalore. Quite complete happy family, no complications, and no tension. Till now you have been wondering what a dull story or what am I trying to do by introducing another Bengali family of Kolkata. Well friends, you never know when what arises from where. So just keep some patients and read on.“Soumya your breakfast is ready and your car keys on the bookshelf. Do not forget them. I am going for a shower then will hurry for college." This was Mrs. Sanyal to Mr. Sanyal. Oh! his name is Soumyajit. If you believe that this is how every morning begins in 36, B.C.Road, then you are right. Since I believe that every human has his own individuality, whether married or not, from now on I shall be calling them Prateeksha and Soumyajit, Hope its fine with you people. Prateeksha usually gets up at 5.30 a.m. and goes for jogging then comes back to prepare a healthy breakfast with milk n cornflakes toast and some fruits. Reminds her husband regarding the last minute essentials. Then she leaves for College. After returning at around 6.00 p.m. she goes for a swimming, then greets Soumyo from office then dinner, some time for the late night movies or serials and then sleep. Usually Shrabani, the maid working for 25 yrs prepares the food, and does the household works."tring........rgrgrgrgrgrgr" the phone rang Prateeksha ran to answer it but in vain." Why do people call if they didn't want to talk, disgusting" again she was busy watering the plants since it was another Sunday. But Prateeksha did not realize that it would not be a regular Sunday and it would change her whole life turning it upside down.

“Shrabani, if you are finished with your dusting please check the letter box. “ Shrabani obediently goes down stairs and brings a bundle of letters. Most of them were addressed to Soumyajit. Prateeksha was a liberal and sensible women so did not ever bothered opening her husband’s letters. Well this is a quite polish attitude which must reside in every educated human being. Only one letter was there

“To
Mrs. Prateeksha Sanyal
36, Ballygunge Circular Road
Kolkata – 700019”

It was written in a very artistic manner with care and perfumed ink. For long time Prateeksha has not received such letters. It was a surprise, happiness and also a slight bend in her brows. A mixed feeling. She did not open it. Soumyajit has gone for a golf match and from there he shall go for to a friend’s house for lunch. So Prateeksha was all alone in 36, B.C.Road accompanied by her silence and the perfumed letter. After finishing the lunch she closed the door when Shrabani left and sat with the letter. Prateeksha turned the letter looked at it carefully. There was no sender’s name. But it appeared that the writer must have been very selective in choosing the colour of envelope and the perfume.

Prateeksha slowly with shaking hands opened the envelope. But did not have the guts to open the folded letter.

"Dear Prat,

How are you? It has been years we have not met. Not seen you for 30 years, can you imagine? After that 17th December 1977, we hardly talked right. Precisely, we did not talk. I have heard that you are teaching at Ballygunge College. Not surprised to hear that you are sharing your Psychological ideas. Still giving lecture ha.

Remember those days, under the tree, we three used to have such a nice time na. I met Kanya two months ago. Well forgot to tell you one thing. As you know after spending 14 yrs of my life there, Kanya helped me to gather myself and forget the gift you gave me. I went to Bangalore with her, she asked me to marry her but I refused, u knows why.

Anyways, I also heard that you have two beautiful kids Sanchita and Abhyudaya. Lovely names. Oh! I forgot to meet Abhyudaya at Bangalore though I know he reads at Garden City College right. Does Sanchita have kids?

You know everything has changed so much in Kolkata. But I have not changed, still that stubborn with good memory of every detail. Tell me, have told Soumyajit about 17th December 1977. I think no.

I just wanted to ask you that why you did this to me. What was my fault?

Can we meet once, just to sum up few details?

Always there for you,

Sammy”

The green ink reminded Prat of some old memories which she had buried 30 years ago. A chill was moving down her spines. Slowly she placed the letter in her old jewelry box presented her by her grand mother and relaxed on the bed. Many glimpses of the past rovered in her mind and she never realized when she passed away.

“ Pratee, Pratee, O Pratee,” shouted Soumyajit, he sprinkled some ice cold water on Prateeksha’s face. She slowly opened her eyes as coming out of a trauma. Everybody knew her to be a strong pillar of the family. But now she appeared to be a dry wilted shaken leaf. As if a tornado has just passed by and she was just able to clinge to a shaft which was about to break, but Soumyajit came and saved her. She did not tell anything to him. But this time her lips were sewn, she could not open them even though she wanted it badly to open. She never hid anything from Soumyajit but perhaps this was the only truth which was not even untold but hidden in the greatest depth of her heart.

Prateeksha has faced so many ups down in her life this was unbearable. As if she was torn into pieces from inside each time she said,”Nothing”, to Soumya. The phone rang “Tring..tr…t.r..t.r..t.r..t.r.t.tr.t.t.ttt.r.r..r’Sounya answered the phone” Yes, please come as soon as possible”, Prateeksha was tensed who had called or who was coming.

An hour later a doctor came. He was Dr. Pradyut Kumar Botobyal, their family doctor. Prateeksha went through general check up. Dr. Botobyal concluded that unconsciousness occurred due to excessive mental tension and low pressure. She was prescribed few medicines of low pressure, and sleeping pills.

Finally a new week started. Soumyajit went to office, Shrabani came to work, and Prateeksha was asked for bed rest. Prateeksha thought perhaps she could forget everything like a bad dream.

Suddenly the phone rang, “ tring ….tr….tr….tr…tr…tr…tr…tr…t.r..t..r.t.t.r.r.rr..t..r.t..r.t.r.t.r.t.tg” . She hesitated but had top answer the phone. She thought that it might be Soumya calling to ask about her health or whether she has taken the lunch. “ Hello……Hello…….heelllllllllllooooooooooooooo…why don’t you answer god dammed” , from the other side she couldn’t hear anything. She slammed the receiver. Then decided to take the cordless to her bedroom where she was supposed to rest. Again the phone rang, “tring” This time without any delay she jumped over the cordless, “ Listen if you don’t want to speak , don’t speak, but I’ll not be afraid at this kind of school threats, …..got it “ but from the other side it said, “ Ma what happened ? Are you ok? Its me Sachi” It was Sanchita calling from Mumbai. There was disturbance in the line she took time to hear. Prateeksha quickly recovered and changed the topic, “No No I am absolutely fine. Actually nowadays so many ghost calls come that really irritates a lot. Nothing Beta, you say how is Sameer and Gudiya”. Sameer was her son-in-law and Gudiya Grand Daughter. “Ma we are coming to Kolkata next weekend, inform Baba and Bhai.” Prateeksha was talking to her daughter but her mind was totally preoccupied. Anyway, she thought that their presence would distract her from this so called”mysterious calls and letters”.
Another week passed away waiting for Sachi, Gudiya and Sameer. But this one week had passed like I year. Prateeksha was counting each minute and preparing cookies, sweets and all other delicacies for them. But these were not only for them but forget the events which took place last week. Just to keep the mind distracted .

“ Soumya are u ready to leave for the airport? Its almost 7 and their plane will board at 9 so we must leave by now” “Yes sweety I am ready to receive my smaller sweety and her family lets go” said Soumya. They got into their Zen Estilo which they recently bought by selling the Maruti 800 and zoomed to the airport. “Pratee you appear tired and exhausted, see those black circles. Sachi Will seriously complain that I don take care of her Ma” Prateeksha was gazing outside the window and hardly could hear anything. “Hey are you here or still thinking about your College boy friends? Just kidding yaar, What happened aren’t you feeling well?” Prateeksha changed the topic and gave the usual smile which twitched the brain of Soumya years ago , thus caused a little rise of his adrenaline which resulted in the sudden increase in the speed.

When they reached the airport , they plane have just landed. The passengers were checking out with their luggage. Suddenly a kid a 3 yrs was seen shouting, “ Didim Didim…….” Prateeksha due to her regular exercise and intellectual personality did not appear to be a grandmother and neither Soumya a grandfather. Moreover her light blue Chiffon sari, white pearl accessory and white sandals gave her a pretty woman look. Also Soumya with a black Gap T-Shirt and Blue jeans looked quite handsome. Even Sachi and Sameer were surprised to see their parents in so appealing. “ Ma what a figure , what a skin, what is the secret Love or Dove” Sachi exclaimed. “ Really Baba I must say that you are the most appealing pair at least in this whole airport” added Sameer. After all this all of them got into the car and headed for their home. Sameer being a software engineer and Sanchita a Clinical Trial Associate were a very happy and successful pair with a cute daughter Gudiya 3 years old.

After long time all of them were having a wonderful time after the lunch watching Prateeksha and Soumya wedding CD. Suddenly the phone rang, “ Tring….tr…tr…trt..trt.trt.rt.rtrtrtr..” Prateekksha thought this time everything will be over. All the love and respect which she has acquired will vanish in a second by a single call. She sat on the couch tight as if cemented with the floor. Sachi ran to answer the call. As Sachi was moving closer to the phone , Prateeksha thought she was moving away from their family. And finally it happened.

“Hello, may I speak to Mrs. Sanyal please?” the other end said. “Yeah please hold on………….Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa its your call” Prateeksha for second thought it must be from the school so was relaxed for the moment. “ Who is it?” she asked Sachi. “ May be your ex- boy friend ma , a very gentle and polite MEN voice” Prateeksha smiled with lot of tension and fear and went to receive the call.

But she was a smart and matured woman so quickly gathered her guts and picked up the receiver,

“Yes who’s this?”

“Don’t you remember me Prat or better I think you were not expecting me at this hour when Sachi, Sameer, Gudiya and Soumyajit are around”. A stern voice as if it will totally engulf Prateeksha and uproot the stem of her family. Prateeksha could realize the pain, hatred and challenging instinct in the voice. She could clearly listen to the echo coming from the other side” Why me Prat, why did u do this to me” Another voice came,

“ What happened, How are you? So much I want hear from you, and so much you have to hear. And I think everything cannot be done through these wires Prat, we have to meet. I know You have a family now so you decide the time and place , I’ll be there. I know you have ignored me a lot but not any more, better do not dare ignore me this time. Every Xaverian knows that nobody can challenge Prat , right but they also know nobody won in front of Sammy except you that too when I wanted to lose. But not this time Prat.” All this time Prateeksha was going through turmoil. Once she was looking at her family and once at herself. Everything was happening so fast that she could hardly react,

“ Sammy I have a family now, “ and she broke down , controlling her tears, “ How can you blame me foe everything, I love my family very much, they love me too, Soumyo will never able accept it, I was told that you are in U.k. and……..” Suddenly Sachi came realizing that Prateeksha is a little upset. But Prateeksha carefully managed the situation.

“ I did not hear the name of the place u said where we can meet, could you please repeat” the other end said . Prateeksha was convinced that its of no use arguing.

“ Wednesday, Petercat at Park street 11.30 a.m “ . After hanging up the receiver she appeared to 10yrs older. Tired exhausted totally drenched with tension. The family members did not notice very much as she smartly said that she is going for nap. The whole afternoon she imagined what might be the results of the Wednesday Meet.

The family spent a very happy time eating playing and going out here n there. Prateeksha’s cookies and sweets were greatly appreciated. She was thinking if she could hold back this weekend and keep in heart forever. Sachi smile, Sameer’s adorable teasing, Gudiya’s sweet questions and lastly but not the least Soumya’s warm admiration, love and the off the tune songs. Prateeksha wished for all these, a small happy family and fortunately got it but now she was afraid to lose them all. Sometimes she thought of pouring her heart to Soumyajit but was afraid of the rejection. She could die but never bear the rejection from the person whom she loves more than her life. With time her family was appearing like sand, more she wants to hold it tight , it was slipping from her hand. Everything whatever she had done to nurture the family was gradually appearing to be false and useless. She couldn’t bear this anymore.

Monday morning, Sanchita, Sameer and Gudiya left for Mumbai. Soumya left for office. Soumya could feel that Prateeksha was hiding something but could not imagine what she was going through. He gave her a long tight hug, a kiss on the forehead and left. Prateeksha was in a sick leave, so all alone in 36, B.C. Road.

Another day passed by. Tuesday when Soumya returned from the office he brought some long stick white roses(Prateeksha’s favourite ones) and a bottle of Champaign. He just thought to celebrate a little alone with her to change her mood. By nature Soumyajit is the most romantic guy Prateeksha has ever come across. Even now in office party, friendly get togethers he is the life of every party. And quite well knows how to turn on Prateeksha even in her saddest moods. In one word they are an ideal couple in the locality and were centre of attraction of every party. Prateeksha was quite surprised to see Soumya in such mood. She was in a kind of confused and excited.

After finishing their dinner, Soumya switched on the CD player, a soft music”…………….. I just called you to say I love you……………………” began to reach Prateeksha’s ear in the kitchen. When she came to the leaving room she found all the lights off. Totally dark except a blue aroma candle flickering with the music. A mild fragrance of jasmine floating in breeze along with white linen curtain of the balcony. And there at a corner Soumyajit standing with a bouquet of white roses tied with a pink satin ribbon. Prateeksha could not help blushing. And slowly but steadily moved towards him. Soumyajit handed her the bouquet and a large beautiful gift pack. “What is this Soumya? “ she whispered his ears. He said “ A small token of my love for my love” Prateeksha could not think anything else, could not see anything else but only two eyes filled with an ocean of love, respect , admiration and surprisingly with a new desire for her. She was being torn into pieces to control tears in her eyes. She simply wanted to run into his arms just like a young girl who runs into the arms of her beloved. She wanted to scream and cry and say everything to him. But she couldn’t. Soumya was very well aware that since she was hiding something from him, she was fighting a war inside her. He quickly went closer held her waist and pulled her closer. Then gave her a long kiss to take away all the pain she was going through. And softly whispered in her ears, “Will do me a favor, just go inside and open your gift and………………” he started to scratch his head . Prateeksha was quite familiar to such an activity of Soumyajit. She knew that the bad naughty boy has awakened after a long sleep. She blushed, patted his chest (characteristic Prateeksha style) and went inside. She was quite familiar with the nature of Soumyajit, so was not at all surprised to see the gift. When she opened the gift box she could see a light lavender coloured satin night dress. It was a two piece dress. Sleeveless inside knee length with two side slits and white frills at the bottom , neck and shoulders which could be easily opened with less effort. The other part was of same colour three quarter sleeve with a belt to tie around at the waist and hide the inner beauty and increase the heartbeat of the observer. When Prateeksha wore the dress she appeared to be a beautiful woman. She left her hair loose, applied some mild perfume and looked thrice to the reflection the mirror before going in front of the victim. She groomed herself as if a newly wed bride was getting ready for her first night. Again inside her heart was crying. Each second she felt as if she has betrayed him for the last 30 years moreover this moment of life. Then she realized that perhaps it might be the last precious moment she is going to spend with Soumyajit. With the sunrise perhaps everything in life will come to stand still from where she does not know which way to go.

Finally , She came out. Soumyajit could feel a tickle in his stomach after seeing her. The lavender colour with her dusky skin resembled the sky during the sunset in which his heart, soul and body earnestly desired to drown. He again felt the same chill in his root hairs he felt 30 yrs back. Then he said characteristically, “ By Joe, now I know why you spend so much time in jogging and swimming”. Slowly but firmly he took her to their bedroom, placed her like a feather on the bed. Prateeksha said, “Are you out of your mind, you are a grandfather of a 3 years old kid and…………” Soumyajit closed her mouth with his hand and said, “ I want to live my life, play role of all the characters that will be assigned to me, understand sweety pie” Prateeksha was o the verge of tears and said “ Yes Mr. Sanyal you’re a good husband, good father and grand father. “ He slowly caressed her hair , chicks and then slowly coming down he said” And now let me be an ideal lover grrrrrrr……grrrrrrrrrrrr…..gr” and kissed her cleavage to smell her. He wanted to free her from her pain, he held her tight and started making love to her. Intertwining their legs they lay on the bed as a single soul. But still he was not getting the response from her. Suddenly Prateeksha realized that she wanted to love him as she has never loved him before. Perhaps this might be the last night with him. Then she clinged to him like a small piece of rock afraid of the sudden gush of the waterfall. Afraid of getting eroded.

The night passed away. With the sunrise A dark patch of cloud shaded over Prateeksha’s face. As usual Soumyajit left for office. Finally one hour left to reach park street. Prateeksha made her mind to face the reality boldly because she had no other way to go. She wore the sea green coloured chiffon sari which was first gifted by Soumyajit and silver earings. She believed that this sari added to her confidence. It was 11.25 a.m. when she reached Park street. She said the cab to go to Petercat Restaurant . She decided to go quickly , finish the conversation as soon as possible and return home. So she asked the cab to wait.

A healthy man around 55 years, clean shaven cream t-shirt , black trousure came closure, “ How are you Prat?” a very amiable tone but has some problem with tongue. Prateeksha turned around and was shocked to see Sambudhya.
“ Sammy how are you? What about Kanya”

“Lets go inside,” he opened the door of the restaurant,” lets sit and talk”. It was hard for Prateeksha to resist the silence between them. Suddenly he broke the silence

“ 17th December 1977, do you remember? I did not realize that giving you a lift to the college would cost me so much. Did you ever think that? I guess no. Achha tell me do you still like Tomato Cream soup, Chilli Baby corn?” Prateeksha was surprised to see that how can a person remember such minute details.

“You remember it, “

“How can I forget you and your likes dislikes etc…………Kanya is sick, suffering from Acute Myelinoid Cancer. “ There was a deadly silence after I heard this. Once Kanya was Prateeksha’s best friend, even they shared their lunch. Once Prateeksha gave her college fees. And now she is going to die in front of her eyes and she will be able to do nothing. This feeling only killed her from inside.

“ I heard you got married the year you goy this job at Science College.”

“Yes”

“Why did not you wait dammed?” Suddenly his voice was roaring in the restaurant.

Prateeksha was afraid but hid her fear and replied,

“ I was told you left the country. Who betrayed me, no you left me alone understand. “ .

“Yeah not out of the country but out of the world, “

“What are you saying Sammy, You are mad”

“ oh really, yes I am mad, go and stay at any of the jails for 14 years and that too without any reason, I bet You’ll also become mad.” Hearing this Prateeksha couldn’t talk, she was spellbound.

Then bursted out, “but they assured me that nothing will happen to you and you’ll be given the English visa. Believe me they showed me the Xerox copies of the visas they prepared for you even the copies of tickets.”

“Yes, here lies the problem Prat, you never relied on me, you always believed what they say and you did it. Now Prat if I ask you to gimme back my 14years, you’ll not be able to give it but one thing you can give is …………………………….leave Soumyajit. Tell me what has he done for you? I have spent my 14 crucial years in jail for you. What did I get I have lost everything ….my body, my soul, my reputation, my family abandoned me and foremost Prat I lost my love” And tears felt his eyes.

Prateeksha could feel what he was going through,

“I know Sammy I can understand…”

He broke through,

“Understand, dam shit what can you understand, have you been to jail at age of 25? Have you been physically assaulted by a gang of dam gay people? Have you been kept in a dark chamber (4” by 4” ) with slimy things for 4 days for protesting sexual molestation? You don’t know Prat what I have gone through”

And he hid his face in his arms like a kid.

Prateeksha did not know how to react or what to say. Slowly and gently she started caressing his hair.

It started raining outside so it was difficult for to return so she said the cab to leave. She thought is she would not spent this much time with him then it will be inhuman. So she sat there and caressed him.

Suddenly he firmly said, “ I do not need your sympathy, I have had enough, I want a deal, you leave Soumyajit and I seal my mouth else you know me Prat, I am That stubborn still……………………”

Prateeksha knew there could be nothing equivalent to compromise with the pain , humiliation and depression he has gone and besides it was also not the right time to make him understand. So decided to take two weeks time to make up her mind.

“Two weeks, no problem,” with a sigh “I have waited 30 yrs for you Prat; another two weeks will do no harm” Prat took a deep breath and was relieved that at least she had two times. She returned to home.

Shrabani came at 4.30p.m. For ½ hour she could hear the shower. So she finally decided to enquire whether Prateeksha was alright inside the bathroom. After confirming she went back inside the kitchen.

But inside, Prateeksha was just lying in the bath tub and recollecting the conversation. Every time she remembered his words, a warning in form of a challenge rovered in her head. She could not imagine what would be her reply after two weeks. Everything was happening normally but Prateeksha remained lost somewhere as if she was losing every second of her life slowly but steadily. Then suddenly her eyes stopped at a family picture kept on the dressing table. Prateeksha could feel the completeness in her. She realized that if at this stage she had stay away from these people specially Soumyajit, she preferred dying in his lap.

She decided to tell Soumyajit everything she knew. She thought that he loves her so much that he could easily forgive her. But practically there was a hidden fear and hesitation. Again a fear of rejection. She tried to imagine how she would face the various questions that Soumyajit would ask and several more which he would not ask.

Like a Human Bomb prepares for the mission, Prateeksha was preparing herself. She what the consequences could be. Soumyajit could give her a divorce; he could simply leave her and go away or absorb everything and suffer a heart attack. Prateeksha was most worried about the last option she thought. She couldn’t even dream of harming Soumyo and now she was helping him to step closer to death. All the doors were almost closed for her. Finally she decided to tell everything to Soumyo, whatever may be the consequence and then take some sleeping pills for the last sleep.

Soumyajit returned from office, tired exhausted. Prateeksha knew that it was not the right time to discuss anything but she could not stop herself.

“Soumyo……………….I has to say something,”

“What, regarding last night, well we can discuss it in a same manner if u like” and hugged her

“I am not joking, it’s serious”

“ Listen if you want to tell something then tell, why hesitating, have faith in me I am with you and will try to help in every possible manner , but…………….if it is Psychological then forgive me,” and giggled,

“Soumyo I have a past ……………………………….and want you to know about it”

“See after 30 years your college love story does not matter to me any more, and a women like you who has the capacity to screw Soumyajit Sanyal’s head at the age of 55, and then it’s quite obvious that she might have had one or two love stories. But what’s disturbing me is why the hell is speaking all these today suddenly. What happened Pratee? What’s the matter? I have been noticing since two weeks.” Slowly he went closer held her hand tight kissed them and said, “Tell me sweety what you want to tell”

Prateeksha could see the confidence in his eyes and assurance in his words. So without any hesitation closed her eyes, “No matter what happens Soumya always remember that I Loved You, Love You and will Love You forever, “this time Soumyajit’s brows raised due to some insecurity but Prateeksha continued, “ There is a old jwellery box in my cup board. It consists of few letters and a diary. Please read that completely. Whatever you decide after that I will accept it smiling.”

Soumyojit was never so nervous. He went to the almirah took out the box. Finally grabbed the diary and the letters. He could smell a mild fragrance from the letters. He again repeated, “I need not read these sweety, I believe you”.

“If you love me then please lessen this burden from my shoulders.”

“Anything for you my dear” Then Soumyajit started going through the pages.

******************* *****************************
1971

I dreamt of being a part of ST. Xavier’s College since I was in 10th standard. And now the time has come. My first day in college. I was a little nervous like other students. My eyes were vigorously searching for a familiar face. Suddenly a face peeked out. Yes it was Kanya. I was so glad to see her. We quickly searched our classes and sat together. I was quite aware that besides Kanya a new pair of eyes was continuously following us and entered our class room also. We were in 1st yr Psychology. First day was great.

How 10 days passed away can’t imagine. Kanya is a stupid. Why did he talk to that strange boy? What was the need? Anyways I am not going to talk.

My God , 1st year exam is coming, wish I pass, Kanya is doing well.

After reading two or three pages he laughed and said,” Pratee these are all nothing what are you trying to say?” Prateeksha understood that he has started from the first day. So she guided him to the 1973, 3rd year College.

1973

We both knew that we love each other, but never tried to say. But this time Sammy did not hesitate and I too accepted we are having a nice time. 1973 is the most precious year of my life. I have decided go for BEd. after graduation and then teaching. But I am really worried for Sammy , he does no have any ambition , I mean what he’ll do after graduation? How will I approach Ma n Baba? I have to convince him.

How could he do this to me? They say he has slept with Kanya. And Kanya………………..she was my best friend……………….I hate you Sombhudya, I hate you Sammy. I hate u Kanya.

Oh god whom should I believe, its so confusing. Kanya says he forced her and Sammy says he was drunk and Kanya seduced him. I don’t know what to do. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.
I’ll never forget today’s date…..He proposed me to marry. I accepted coz I found that he was innocent. I cant believe that Kanya did this to me .15 yrs of friendship. Anyways we have completed our college and I am submitting forms for the B.Ed. Sammy is working as a freelance reporter.
God I have joined the B.Ed. at Scottish Church College. He usually takes me to the college. Ma n Baba quite well understands our relationship.
Soumyajit skipped two three pages and then asked,” Did you really love him?” Prateeksha saw a pain in his eyes. He whispered, “Why are you me read this? Pratee now you love me only I know that, ok I respect your feelings, but can you imagine what I am going through!”
“Please Sammy, I mean I am sorry, Soumyajit “Soumyajit this time gave her a stern look. “Try to understand you don’t know what I WENT THROUGH”.
Again he started reading the diary.

1977
Final year B.Ed. Almost everyday he comes to my house to pick me up. As usual that day also. It was 17th Dec’1977. The day, ufffffffff can’t forget in my life. I always had a affinity to drive Sammy’s car. So after pasturing him a lot he allowed me. He was beside me and I was trying to drive.
It was near Hedua, the road was busy. A rickshaw was coming to avoid accident he turned the steering. In doing so we bumped over the Footpath and nearly smashed a guy. I was totally scared puzzled what to do. Sammy who was always smart and confident, he too rushed to the guy. Tried to pick up the guy. He as bleeding. By then a total chaos have already occurred. And there were many people trying to slap him, some were using slang languages and others were just creating a scene and were being entertained. I couldn’t get down because he warned me that if they knew I were driving the car and did not have license, what they would do only God knows. Then I heard the POLICE. They put the guy in the ambulance and dragged Sammy in the Van. I was crying, yelling it was not his fault. But he forced me to keep quite and asked me to contact Ma n Baba.

We did not know that he was alive or dead. But one thing I heard people saying that he was some minister’s son and from that moment I realized we were at great crisis.

I called Baba as soon as possible, explained the situation and he promised to bring a lawyer. I was escorted to home. I wanted to stay with him but they said that he’ll be fine. It was 10.30 p.m. when Baba reached home. Tensed and from his face only I could understand that nothing productive had happened. Still I enquired; I couldn’t believe him telling,

“If anybody asks you about Sammy, You will say you did not know anything, is that clear”

A stern look was their in his face. Ma took me inside; I was crying pleading just to allow me once to meet him. But in vain.

18th Dec’1977

Next morning I was taken to Lal Bazaar Police Station. It was very , what should I say, my God, strange people were there. I was guided by my father, our lawyer and the Police in Charge. I could see several women were also sitted. Some constables were talking to them in slang filthy languages. But surprisingly they were also replying in slang. Later came to know that they were few prostitutes who were forced to sit their until they give their fixed ‘Hafta’. ‘Hafta’ means a ransom kind which they are supposed to give the police to run their business of skin selling without license. Within one encounter in the Police station I got the opportunity to know the real world. A face to face rendezvous with the different parts of our society. Starting from the skin sellers to medicine sellers to the reputed business men. Everybody was one or the other way related to LAL BAZAAR POLICE STATION KOLKATA. It was a nightmare for me. And I was more horrified when I saw Sammy, my best friend, my first love, the person who protected me, the person who helped me not to face the horror of ones life. I couldn’t recognize him. The police did not touch him though. Sammy has suddenly turned 50 from 25. The sweat which glistened over his temples, the terror in his innocent eyes, the confusion going on in his mind that what will happen next, altogether have marooned the mischievous, naughty Flirty Sammy somewhere. Only one thing he asked,

“When are you going to take me out of this Prat?”
He tried to giggle but I could see to drops of tear at the corner of his eyes. Before I could answer anything Baba dragged me to the office. I could hear only one thing,

“Whatever happens Prat, You know I am not guilty and will love you ever”

At that moment I understood if anybody could save him , is me and no one else. So I decided to do whatever I COULD DO.

They assured me that if I would sign the given paper then according to that they would give him a visa to leave India forever so that he becomes free. If he leaves the country somehow, then he will be outside Indian Jurisdiction and no one can d anything and besides the boy is not dead but in coma. And the case will be closed. I was so happy but not convinced so I suggested that I would like to see the Copy of the Visa and his tickets before signing. While returning I assured Sammy that everything would be fine and he’ll be fine. A sudden spark appeared in his eyes which made me very happy.

25th Dec’1977

I am sad and happy. Happy to imagine that Sammy will be free. And sad because don’t know when I’ll be able to see him again or better whether we will meet again. It was the most difficult moment of my life. But we knew whatever happens we love each other and at least he’ll be out of that nasty horrified place.

As soon as I reached his cell he was so excited. I could feel the new jive in him so hid my pain. After talking to him for a while I was called in the office. Before going he wished me Merry Christmas with a flying kiss. Anyway I ran to the office. One thing that surprised me a lot that how could they prepare a foreign visa so fast. Normally that takes two months. I don’t know why I didn’t question them regarding this. They showed me the documents and tickets. I studied them thoroughly. Then they gave the papers which should be signed by me. According to that what I understood was, that day we were in the car but the driver was a driving the car, who also died due to the accident. Hence we were not responsible for the accident. There were two copies. I read I and signed both copies. Then I was asked to leave the police station. I thought it would be better for Sammy. I left.

Later Baba said that he left for England on 26th Dec’1977 .

I sent him many emails. I don’t know why he does not reply to either one of them.

No reply to letters also. I asked Baba about address , but Sammy did not reply to the letters addressed to his house also.

1979
Since I have got a job at Ballygunge Science College, Ma is forcing to get married. Even I don’t have a reason to wait.

I hate you Sammy, I hate you Sombhudhya.

Ma says my new life is waiting and perhaps Sammy is happy there. So I must also be happy rather I also have the right to be happy.

I don’t know Sammy if you can hear me ,

“I am marrying, always be happy where ever you are. You shall remain in my heart”

********************** ***********************

With this Soumyajit closed the diary, opened his spectacles and stared at Prateeksha.

“You had so much grief in you and you did not tell me once, don’t I deserve to hear them?”

Hearing this Prateeksha burst into tears,

“You tell me what my fault is? What did I do? I tried to save him”

“That’s ok, you couldn’t do any better. What is the problem now?”

After a minute silence she said, “Sammy is back, I met him. He’s telling that he never went to U.K. He was in jail for 14 years. And he thinks I fled away leaving him. So in revenge he………………………….”

“What? In jail, how? I mean, anyways, what does he want now after so many years?”

“He wants his 14 years back or…………………………”


“What bull shit, what else?”

After lot of hesitation Prateeksha breaks in, “Me……………else he’ll tell everybody the truth”

Soumyajit rushes towards her and hugs her,

“Who the hell is he that he’ll take you from me” slowly caressing Prateeksha’s curls he said, “ hey girl, do you trust me?”

Prateeksha with whimpering voice said “More than me”

“Excellent then will you let ME handle this for you? May I do this much for you, though I know my girl can easily solve this?”

Prateeksha could no more hold herself just flung herself in Soumyajit’s arm she totally surrendered herself.

“Pratee I have to meet him first and hear what he thinks or whatever he has to say. So……………….. Will you arrange a meeting between your ex-boyfriend and your present husband, Sweety?” With a giggle.

Prateeksha smiled and gave him a loving smack.

Soumyajit could realize the mental condition of Prateeksha. He thought that he has to behave maturely in order to ease the pressure on her. On the other hand he was a man. It hurt him a bit that Prateeksha had hidden all the truth from him for these many years. Again he placed himself in her place to imagine the whole situation she had gone through. There were so many things going inside his head but he had to keep his mental balance in order to save his family peace as well as his wife’s trust and belief once again. He was also fighting inside to prepare himself to meet his wife’s ex-boyfriend.

Prateeksha called Sammy.

“Hello…..Sammy, it’s me Prat,” the sudden call from her that too on the third day made Sammy very excited and a new happiness suddenly emerged in his eyes.

“Hi, I was not expecting you so soon; anyway…………..tell me what your decision is?”

“Soumyo….I mean Soumyajit wants to meet you”

“What! What are you saying, have you told him about me? Listen Prat I don’t have time to listen to your crap”

“Its no crap Sammy, it’s true, Soumyajit wants to have talk with you”

“And why the hell is that?”

“I have told him everything about us and then he decided to have a talk with you”

“You ditched me Prat; you have to pay for this. Anyway, call him at the same place same time”

“But he has office, how can he come at that time?”

“That’s not my look out. If he has to talk then tell him to come at that time only. “After a long silence he broke up
“Why don’t you believe me at least once dammed? I still love you. “

“I am married Sammy, I have a family, and what you are doing now with me is not love. It’s only a revenge of something which I did not do. If you had loved me, you would have been happy seeing me happy, understand”

“Why I have to understand every time? No one understands me, no one listens to me.”

“Sammy then its fixed, 11.30 a.m. Peter Cat, Park Street, tomorrow”
“O.K.” this time Sammy was a bit tired.

This time though Prateeksha was scared and exhausted after the call but she was a bit confident as she knew Soumyajit was on her side. That made a great difference.

Prateeksha was nervous because she did not know what’s going to happen, what Sammy is going to tell Soumyajit? Several questions were hovering in her mind. She felt like a miserable rat afraid of the screeching eagle on top. Soumyajit was ready to go. He has taken a leave from office. As usual he gave her a tight hug and said,
“We’ll go for a movie when we return, be ready, I’ll give you a call when I leave Peter Cat. Is that O.K.?”


“O.k.” said Prateeksha in a trembling voice.

Slowly and steadily Soumyajit started the car for Peter Cat. When he reached the restaurant he found a well built gentleman waiting for him. He smartly asked that whether he was Sammy. He grinned and said,” Take your sit Soumyo, but I must say you have a nice perception of identifying people” Soumyajit could easily smell the hatred and jealousy in a fraction.

“Listen Sammy…..”
“Excuse me, only my friends call me Sammy, for you I better be Sombhudya, is that clear”
“Well I am sorry, Mr. Sombhudya, I am here simply to sort out certain matters which have already become primitive, and don’t wan to waste any more time in the introduction. I am Soumyajit Sanyal husband of Prateeksha Sanyal Chatterjee. And to make you more clear, I am not here to discuss my wife’s primitive young love story but to resolve a matter which revived on 17th Dec’1977. “

“OH…..so how can I help you?”
“Well I expect you to be 100% honest in whatever details you specify. I have heard from my wife that you were arrested for an accident which was unfortunately done by my wife. But due to the love and affection you had towards Miss.Prateeksha Chatterjee, you took the whole responsibility and let her live a safe life. Now since Miss. Prateeksha Chatterjee is my wife at present i.e. Mrs. Prateeksha Sanyal Chatterjee, so I am highly obliged and grateful to you for your noble deed. But what I want to know is what happened to you after she signed the papers of your release?

“Excellent …and for you clarification, I did not do any noble work; get it, I loved her God Dammed. Secondly, she signed the papers to release me. What a joke. Rather she signed as evidence against me; get it. And her signed papers were used as a primary evidence to sentence me the life imprisonment. It’s so hard to accept hat the person whom you love more than your life, takes your own life without any regret. And you come hear to defend your bloody wife?”

“ Excuse me ……please mind your language. There’s lot to talk about. Sombhudya Prat loved you from the depth of her heart. I think you can imagine how hard this is for me to accept it. She tried to save you. She was asked to sign certain papers, which is true. But the problem is that she signed two papers and she read only one. She thought the other one is just the carbon copy so she did not bother to read the other one.”

“I am not getting what you are saying and besides why should I believe you?”

“Because I think you don’t have any other options, Pratee has already told me about her past so you can’t black mail her at this moment. So better rely on me and help me finding the actual culprit. The minister’s son who had the accident is still alive.”

“WHAT? ARE YOU SURE?”

“Yeah, quite sure,”
Then took out some news paper cuttings and showed it to him. Sammy was amazed and could not believe his own eyes. Suddenly he turned into a little kid who was complaining about the lies he had been told.

“ But you know they showed the death certificates in the court. I thought I was saving Prat. But they alleged me into a total made up case. They totally destroyed my life. I was living in the jail thinking that Prat escaped. But I was satisfied at least by thinking that some one was killed and thus on has to suffer the punishment, and then why not me. And you are telling I just spent my 14 years in that damn place just for nothing.”

There was a minute silence. And then Sammy broke into tears.

“You know Soumyo I loved her very much. We were happy. We decided to marry. But that 17th Dec 1977 brought such a bad omen that everything was shattered. I blamed Prat not only for signing those papers but to leaving me in this hell. And now after 30 years I get to know that the person, whom I have been blaming, was innocent. Can you tell me what is left in my life? I have been blaming my sole love for something which she was not responsible of. God …………………..I feel disgusted”

“Another thing which you do not know is that Pratee signed two papers. According to one you would had been freed and given the U.K visa along with tickets if she promised to never meet you again. But the other one she did not read. Perhaps it was the created evidence. But we do not know what it was or who made it. Understand. She loved you.”

Sammy was highly surprised, angry and sorry to suspect his own love.

“What are you saying Soumyo? I shall never be able to forgive myself. Now everything is finished. I don’t want anything. Just leave me alone. I promise never to interfere in you people’s life. Just go.”

“No I can’t. Sammy again you are making the same mistake. Don’t you want to know at least the name of the person who framed you in such a case? Don’t you want to know why he did or she did the same? The ball is in your court Sammy. It’s your turn to play it. So why are you hesitating?”


“Yeah everything is true but what’s the use? I won’t get back anything. What I have lost is irreplaceable”

“NO, It’s true that you won’t get back anything or I won’t be able to give back your 30 years but won’t you stop the system to produce more Sammys. And…………………………by the way after everything is solved if Pratee wants……….”

“Stop it Soumyo, Prat cannot have a better husband than you. I am not that good dude….” And Sammy giggled.
Both had lunch together talking about their family, about Prateeksha. Later Soumyajit returned.

After Soumyajit reached home, 36, B.C.Road, it was as if the whole house was mourning. He rang the calling bell thrice. This caused a stir in him and he was nervous. Then Shrabani opened the door and she said that Prateeksha was having a nap.

He realized that day that how little things can bring a drastic change in ones life. It was a simple signature, which turned the lives of two people just upside down. There’s so relevance of a signature. One signature separated two lovers and another united. One doomed two people’s life and another brought happiness, love and prosperity. Such an irony. When Soumyajit was thinking all these he did not realize that it was almost 5.00p.m.and Prateeksha has brought some tea.

He saw the puzzles in her eyes, the maze of questions which she was not able to get rid of. Soumyajit took the initiative to start the discussion.

Prateeksha carefully heard all the details which were being discussed between Sammy and Soumyajit. Prateeksha could not hold herself till the end. She burst into tears. Soumyajit had seen her crying several times; once when Sanchita left for her in-laws, then once when Gudiya was born, when her parents died etc. But this was something different. It seemed that as if everything has ended for her and she had lost her existence. Soumyajit was not able to understand what would calm her down. Besides, he was also going through turmoil. He was sure that Prateeksha loved her and would not leave her but he was suffering from a kind of insecurity.

Later he held her tight and caressed her hair. Slowly she cooled down. For the first time in life, he realized that Prateeksha was feeling helpless. She continuously repeated,

“Sammy I am sorry I did not read it, I am sorry…………..sorry”

Soumyajit could feel the pain. Then he consoled her,

“Listen now also you can help him,” she gazed at him

“Really, now also, how?”

“We have to help him find out who framed him in such a case”

“He had no enemies, who would try to victimize him. That too in college we three were good friends , friendly to everyone”

“WHAT! Three? Who else?”

“Well, Kanya who else”

“Kanya?”

“Yeah,”

“I heard this name before”

“Hmm”

“I got it in your diary, I mean I read her name their. She had some relation with Sammy right”

“No, no, you did not read it properly, it was a false allegation against both, just two break our trio, understand”

“NOOOOOOOOO , Pratee darling you listen, it is like this……..somebody tried to break your duo, but when he or she was unsuccessful, framed Sammy in such a shit,………………GOT IT”

“What are you saying! “

“And why not? You say……..such a hot girl, I think it is definitely a man. I am afraid; if he sees me now then he will also turn me inside the jail.”

And Soumyo giggled. He knew what a stress Prateeksha was going through. So just to lighten the mood, he tried to change the topic.

Dear Reader,

Thanks for your patience and cooperation which you have offered till now.

Till now you have been seeing how various relationships are intertwined with each other. These networks form the world. In the beginning, itself I have mentioned that I shall be writing about relationships. But some of you might be confused and might think that its about a romantic thriller.

Then I should apologize before you.

I am writing solely about people and for the people. I hope everyone of you have heard this,

“The world is a theatre,
we are all mere actors……….”

I strictly believe in fate, that is the BHAGYA (future) and the work I do that is the KARMA (present). Whatever will happen in our life depends on these two elements and whatever is occurring is also due to the consequence of these two elements.

Now whatever you will read after this, each word will prove you that whatever I write is not totally a crap or better bullshit according to many of you.

So hope you enjoy the ride through the next phase of my story.

Regards

Tomarbonnya


Though Prateeksha was a strong lady, still she was going through some puzzles which were tearing her apart from inside. She was not able to understand that how anyone could be so inhuman to spoil somebody’s life like that way. She was not able to understand that if it was due to love and jealousy then how a hatred born from love could be so much more powerful than the love itself. Many faces were flashing before her eyes but she could not imagine or recognize the real face. No name came into her mind which could probably be suspected. She gave up finally and suddenly wanted to meet Sammy again.

She set up a meeting with Sammy on the next day. This time she was not afraid. A different feeling was arising within her. It was a mixture of anxiety and excitement to meet her years old best friend. Many questions were coming to her mind.

While sitting in front of the mirror of the dressing table she was trying to find Prat inside her. Her feelings, her imaginations and her personality. Then she realized that it had been 30 years. Prat is lost in the busy roads of Kolkata and now Mrs. Prateeksha Sanyal is present. For few seconds Prateeksha wanted to forget everything. Her relation with Soumyajit, the mother inside her and the grandmother. She simply wanted to imagine herself as a woman, as simply Prateeksha. She realized how lucky she was. Generally in middle class family; even after the women’s liberation, each woman has to cooperate and sacrifice as a daughter, as a sister, as a lover, as a wife and even as a mother. But in her case it was not so. She was always treated as an individual who has its own opinion, feelings and self respect. She never had to sacrifice anything except her first love and that too for her love. She did not face any complications like her best friend Kanya had to face. Suddenly, Prateeksha was surprised that how did Kanya’s name come in her mind. She sat still for a moment. She thought that Kanya was her best friend but did not even bother contact her in these 30 years and how come her name suddenly flash in her mind which was making her very uncomfortable.

Prateeksha dressed herself in a white chiffon sari. White was the favourite colour of both Sammy and Prat. The white background of the sari was filled with embroidery done with coloured satin threads which added elegance to Prateeksha’s make over. She had a thin white metal necklace embedded with coloured semi precious stones which gave her a shine. A natural glossy lipstick and a white sandal completed the look.

When Prateeksha reached the same old Petercat Restaurant, her heart was pounding; she was thinking how she would start the discussion. Fortunately she did not have the trouble of starting the discussion.

“Hi, Prat. You don’t look 55. Well still like the white colour? Surprisingly it still suits you. “

Prat blushes and then tries to change the topic. “Well, how are you? I think you haven’t taken your lunch either, so let me order something” She takes the menu card but Sammy holds her hand. A warm old feeling which brought chills to 55 year old spine of Prateeksha.




“A little later Prat, let me see you first. 30 years …………………………..is no less. “He was slowly removing the grey curls from her face. She could feel the cold pale skin and the trembling fingers. The eyes which were searching her for years. The mischievous notes in his eyes have now transformed into a deep cry which only she can hear.

“Sammy stop it,” She suddenly realized that she was no longer the same old Prat. “ I don’t mean to hurt you but,”

“I know ,” he interrupted “ I know that you are married , I know that you are not only a mother but also a grand mother and over all you love YOUR HUSBAND. But Prat please, at least for once and the last time let my soul feel you. “

“What do you mean Sammy? Here I have come to discuss something, to sort out some matters and you are talking about sl…..”

“STOP IT Prat, Do you think I am that cheap. Listen lady, I still love you, so I want you to remain happy wherever you live. What I want is you to listen to me. So many things I have to tell you. Don’t you want hear what I went through?”

Suddenly Prateeksha’s voice changed.

“Sammy, today I’ll listen and you will speak. Let me hear what’s in your because it might be the last time in your life you shall be seeing and talking to Prat. After this Prat will never come in front of you and neither will you be able to talk to her. “

“What? Don’t do this to me Prat, You mean we will never meet or talk to each other? “

“No Sammy. We will definitely meet and talk. But I shall come in front of you as Mrs. Prateeksha Sanyal not as Prat.”

“You know what Prat; I love you only due to this aspect of your character. You know well, unlike me, about your responsibilities and the practical world even in the most delicate moment of your life. I agree Lady, but for today, I hope you are Prat. Prat, my dearest Prat, so many things to tell you.
You know when you left me that day smiling and saying that I shall be free soon, I thought the day I would be released I would propose you to marry me. But still then some kind of sixth sense was working inside me. Repeatedly telling me that something is wrong. And after that day I realized that my sixth senses are never wrong. From the first day I saw you till that day my sixth senses were always correct. But that time I wished it to be wrong, unfortunately it was not so.”

“But Sammy tell me something, what did the Officer –in-charge tell you after I left?”

“Oh! He said that what I was going through was destined because I dared to love a girl who belonged to a higher class. He showed me some papers which you had signed. And according to the papers you had reported them that I was a mere friend and was drunk while driving and thus met an accident. Moreover you had left of the car a little earlier due to my rash driving. So you hardly know who the victim was. And according to that evidence I was responsible for the accident in which the damn minister’s son was killed. But Soumyajit told me that he is alive.”

“OH GOD! I did not know about this paper at all, believe me” she burst into tears.

“I believe you, sweet heart. “

“Sammy, they framed me. The paper which I signed was totally different stuff. It was written that we both were there in the car but you were driving. We met an accident in which the victim was badly hurt and went to coma. Since you were driving you were supposed to be kept in custody. But they assured me that you would get a bail and then you could be safely escorted to U.K. Once you leave India nobody can catch you. The only thing I was depressed about was that, I knew that by signing those papers I was losing you for ever but still I signed because I thought you would be safe and unharmed.”


“Ok, sweety now cool down. Whatever had happened has happened and nobody can change it. Let’s not talk about this. Well I am quite sure that Soumyajit loves you but what about you?”

This was a very simple question and Prateeksha knew that she loved Soumyajit but she could not understand that why she went through a sudden twister. She could feel a twitch in the furrows of her cerebrum. But gathered her and replied,

“Yeah, why not? Very much.”

She was surprised to hear such a question.

“Why do you ask his? Why will I not love him?”

“No no, you misunderstood me. I was just asking.”



Both of them knew that the question was not asked JUST LIKE THAT. But still both wanted to accept it like that. Sammy broke the silence,

“So won’t you order the food?”

“Oh! Yeah, I forgot.”

Prateeksha ordered two halves of tomato clear soup, one vegetable hakka chowmein, one prawn sweet n sour, one chilly baby corn and vanilla ice cream with hot chocolate sauce.

“My, God you remember everything…………..”

“Yeah, why shouldn’t I? If you can, then I can’t also”

Sammy could feel that Prateeksha was trying to say something by noticing her rubbing hands but hesitating.

“So………”

“So what?............”

“No, I mean, come on Prat you can’t hide from me. Tell me what is it?”

“I was curious to know about Kanya. You said that she was suffering from Acute Myelinoid Cancer”

“Yeah. Poor thing she did a lot for me. After I was released from Prison, it was like hell. I was mentally retarded in one word. I was only alive just to ask you why you left me alone. I was suffered from different diseases like malignant malaria, asthma etc. She took care of me. She sent me to a rehab. Treated me like my mother. When the doctor said that I required intensive care and love, she took me to Dehradun at her home. Many people questioned her about our relationship and criticized her but she never stepped back. When I slowly recovered, I gradually felt that how much she loved me. But you know I only loved one woman. So when she proposed me and I rejected her she totally broke down. She cried a lot. I made her understand the situation and explained that there was nothing I could give her. Still she stayed with me always. We are very good friends. It was too late when I realized that she was seriously ill. I took her to a doctor and after series of tests it was confirmed that she was suffering from cancer. I just sometimes question God about his judgment. Now you see this poor girl took care of me her whole life and what did she get, an unsuccessful love story and still waiting for an early painful death.”

There was a long silence. Prateeksha could not imagine how did Kanya know that Sammy was in jail and how come she know when he got released.

“Ok…….”

“Something is burning…” Sammy giggled.

“Don’t talk rubbish. At least be aware of your age. “

“Ok, here is the food. First let’s finish the food then we will talk. I am starving. Is that ok my Lady”

“Good idea”

Taking the scoops of ice cream he appeared disturbed. Prateeksha finally asked,

“What is it? What happened now?” Don’t you like the ice cream?”

“No……………it’s good but one thing still I can’t understand. If whatever you are saying is true then its true that you did not know about my court case right. Then who testified on your behalf?”

“What? ………………………….Are you out of your mind, I testified against you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”


Both stared at each other as if they had come to a dead end. Prateeksha came to know that somehow somebody did testify for whatever she had signed and thus the false evidence was accepted and Sammy was imprisoned. But both of them could not understand who might have played this nasty joke.


Prateeksha and Sombhudya realized that whoever have created this maze have done the work with such a perfection that no evidence is left behind. Prateeksha thought how she can forget the name of such an enemy. She concluded that either the person is a cold blooded criminal or a die hard lover. But she could not guess the name of such a person.


“What the hell are you thinking about? Listen I will visit Kanya at her hospital tomorrow. If you want you can come.”

“Oh! Yes. I will definitely go and will take Soumyo with me. Do you mind that? “

“Are you crazy? Why should I mind that, after all for him only we are friends again, isn’t it. Prat you must be very lucky to have him as your man.”

“Yeah,” Prateeksha blushed putting her curl around her ear. “So what time and by the way in which hospital?”

“You know the Thakupukur Cancer Institute, on the Bypass”

“Yeah yeah why not. What’s the visiting hour?”

“Its morning 10.30a.m. to 11.30a.m. and evening 4.30p.m. to 6.30 p.m.”

“Fine then tomorrow we will meet at 10.00 a.m. near Hospital and then we’ll together.”

“Absolutely fine.”

The next day Soumyajit and Prateeksha gave a lift to Sombhudya to Kanya’s hospital. Prateeksha was depressed as well as confused to face Kanya. She knew that she had many questions for Kanya but did not know how to ask. Finally she thought to leave everything to time. As they were moving closer to her room Prateeksha could feel a hesitation in her. Her legs were revolting to move any further. As they entered Kanya’s room, Prateeksha could not believe her eyes. Her best Friend Kanya was a stout girl, with long black hair, beautiful sensible mysterious eyes and over all independent confident by nature. But she was lost. She was not Kanya. But a women of 55 appearing to be 75. Vague eyes staring at the ceiling. And her body was almost merged with the hospital white sheet. She has almost lost her all hair due to the chemotherapy. Her lips were pale black due to the vigorous medicines she was taking. Her hands were thin like twigs with the veins protruding due to the continuous saline. A total horror picture. Within seconds all the pictures of their college life flashed and gradually she forgot all the questions she was supposed to ask. She could not help her tears so she rushed out of the room. Soumyajit followed her to console. Sammy Later joined him. They went to doctors.

“What do you think doctor?”

The doctor stared at the two new visitors and hesitated a bit to discuss about his patient as it is against medical ethics. Realizing this Sammy said “You can be comfortable. They are very close friends of both Kanya and me. We studied together.”

The doctor seemed pleased with Sammy’s explanation “Well, Mr. Sombhudya, its becoming difficult for us to do the treatment as the patient is denying to take the medicines. Moreover we regret to inform you that that’s all we could do. I have told you before these kind of patients do not survive but we tried our best to keep her alive at least 6 months.”

“I know doctor; I am quite satisfied with your service and thankful to you that you took care of my friend.”

“It’s our job Mr. Sarkar, you need not be thankful. Well I think you can know visit the patient and please convince her to take the medicine. So that we can keep her a little longer”

“I’ll try doctor. Thanks once again”


“Good day” As the doctor left, both Prateeksha and Soumyo asked Sammy to visit Kanya while they would order some coffee for him as he looked very tired and drenched. When Sammy entered the room, he had a shock of his life.

“Who was that, Prat?”

“Kanya you are talking……………..I mean are you feeling better?”

“Tell me, was that Prat?”

“Yes, Prat and her Husband. They have come to see you.”

“I don’t want to see anybody” Suddenly the trembling voice took an ordering one. Also a hatred in her eyes which scared Sammy a lot.

“But Kanya, they very concerned about you”

“I care a penny for their concern”


Sammy was surprised to hear such hard words from Kanya that too at this stage.

“What happened Kanya? Why are you so furious?”

Suddenly she burst into tears and groaned in pain “Oh! Sammy please spare me, I don’t want to see anybody. Just you stay with me and I don’t want anything else. Please try to understand me. Aaaaaaaaaaaa………………………….God Why don’t you take me . I can’t bear this pain any more.

Seeing this critical situation Sammy could not help himself. He hugged her tight.

“Here I am. See nobody is here. Nobody will visit you neither will they take you from me. Just relax Kanya. But you have to promise me that you will take the medicines in time. Promise me Kanya you will do whatever I say. “ He was in his tears. For the second time he felt that he was about to lose something.

Suddenly Prateeksha and Sombhudya entered the room and realized that it would have been better if they had come a little later. Surprisingly Prateeksha had a cram in her heart. Seeing Kanya in Sammy’s arms she decided that she would do everything to cure Kanya. It was a different feeling emerging in her heart.

“Kanya …” Prateeksha whispered

“Leave us alone please” Sammy said firmly but politely.

“But…………..” Prateeksha repeated. Soumyajit realizing the situation dragged Prateeksha outside the room.

“Pratee try to understand Sammy. He is losing some one who has taken care of him with all her heart and soul when everybody turned their face from him. Can you even imagine what he is going through? Even a man falls in love with a dog which wags its tell at his one whistle and this is a human being dammed. Can you imagine what Kanya has sacrificed for Sammy?” After a long stare at Soumyajit with her tear filled eyes she whispered

“And me? I did not do anything for him? I did not sacrifice anything for him? I did not wait for him? I did not love him? I too sacrificed my whole life………………….After all he is my first love Soumyo. I do not deny that you love me a lot, and I do love you. You taught me how to love but you know what he made understand what love is. “

Till now Soumyajit was hard and bold but within a minute everything changed. As if the whole world has broken down for him. He controlled his emotions and said, “I know darling, but tell me something that do you really think that you have sacrificed your life in our relationship and did not get anything in this relation?”

Realizing the turmoil Soumyajit was going through, Prateeksha flunged into Soumyajit’s arms and said, “You are the best friend, husband and father a woman can wish for. I have not sacrificed anything for you, better you have never let me do that but the reality is that I have sacrificed my life for Sammy which he never understood. But you, even after knowing my black past still love me and respect me as earlier. Any women leaving you at this point will be the most foolish one, do you have any doubt? “ And Soumyajit gave her his handkerchief.

God and Soumyajit only knows what he had passed through the last few minutes during this discussion. The couple slowly left the corridor as if they have never came there. Proceeded towards the canteen had the coffee. They went to the reception left a note there and drove back to 36, B.C.Road Kol-19. Later Sammy enquired at the reception and got the note.

Dear Sammy,

We met in college. We became friends. We fell in love. Everything was so proper and perfect. When I imagine now either it appears to me as a fairy tale or a Hindi movie. But whatever it was, it was beautiful. I am thankful to God that you came in my life . I will cherish all the moments spent with you. You made me understand what love is and it is a very big thing. But you know what God wanted us to be together up to this only. That made the difference.

At this point of my life I do not regret for anything. Perhaps I am the luckiest human being on earth. Why you know , because I had the best lover a woman can have and the best husband a woman can dream off. I think you will agree to this. And so Prat wants to bid you a happy goodbye for being apart of her life and Mrs. Prateeksha Sanyal will wait for a good friend at tea or lunch or dinner perhaps.

Soumyajit and Prateeksha requests for forgiveness for whatever they have or they haven’t done and wishes for a new fresh relationship. We also hope you to remain happy with Kanya as long as she lives and even after that. The door of 36, B.C.Road will always remain open for you. Till then,

Have a happy life,

Prateeksha & Soumyajit

Reading the note brought tears to his eyes and thought perhaps he could talk to Prat for the last time. He was feeling so lonely. As if the time has stopped for him.

Seven days have passed. Neither the Sanyals nor Sammy has contacted each other. It was difficult for Prateeksha to start from the beginning again. But with a husband like Soumyajit nothing seemed impossible after few days.

“Ting Tong………………….”

“Pratee just sees who has come, I am working……….”

“Ok, don’t worry ……HI, HOW ARE YOU?”

It was a mixed feeling happiness and surprise for Prateeksha to see Sammy again.

“You look miserable and tired. What on Earth have you gone through? Last time we met at the hospital, you were quite fine.”

“Yeah but within these 7 days many things have changed and my life has been turned upside down.”

“Wait wait first you come inside and sit then we will talk.”

“Soumyo come here quickly, see who has come.”

“Again what happened Pratee, who came?”

“Oh! My god Sammy what ….a…..pleasant……..surprise…” He gradually tuned his voice noticing Sammy’s pale terrified face.

Sammy was looking down at the floor with his eyes fixed. He appeared like a kid who was lost in an unknown city and did not know what should his next step be or where should he go. There was a death silence.

Repeatedly Prateeksha and Soumyajit enquired. But Sammy did not reply. This silence was intolerable.

Suddenly he whispered, “Kanya is no more,”

Prateeksha and Soumyajit were choked and couldn’t speak imagining what Sammy was going through. But gathered confidence to ask him, “When did this happen?”

“Last day we met. As soon as you people left, she slept in my arms for the last time. I called her so many times but she never awoke. I even said her that as soon as she comes out the hospital we would marry and leave Kolkata. I decided to go to Dehradun. But she didn’t reply. I said I lover her more than anybody in the world but then also she didn’t open her eyes. I tried hard Prateeksha, I tried hard but Kanya left me all alone I this world.” He sobbed like a baby. Even Tears came into Prateeksha’s eyes. She had never seen a man crying in this manner.

“Do you know Prateeksha why this happens to me every time? And how long do I have to face all these?
One thing Prateeksha realized that Sammy really loved Kanya. She remembered Sammy’s words when they were in college………………………….

“When I’ll stop calling you Prat you’ll understand that I have stopped
loving you as I love you know, understood dumbo”

The next moment she consoled Sammy like a real friend and suddenly something dropped from Sammy’s hand. Prateeksha hesitated a bit then picked up the paper and handed over to Sammy. As soon as Sammy held the paper he gave them a cold scared look. Both Soumyajit and Prateeksha were literally scared at the look.

“When Kanya expired, her nurse told me that a day before she had asked the nurse to tell me to collect something from her house at Kolkata. When I went there I found a beautiful sweater woven by Kanya and below that there was a letter. After reading this letter I did not know how to react. The first thing I remembered was you Prateeksha. So I gathered lots of guts and decided to come to you finally because I think you have also got the right to know about this.”

“What’s written in the letter?”

“Don’t ask me Prateeksha, read it by yourself.’



Dear Sam,

This is a secret name I gave it to you but never got the opportunity to call you by that name. I don’t know when you will get this letter. Perhaps it would be too late.

You must be very curious to know that who on earth was responsible for everything you went through. Well, then let me pull up the curtain to reveal the monstrous face who ruined your and ……………my best friend Prat’s life. But it’s my request that after hearing the name do not tear the letter, for my sake. Complete the letter and then do whatever you feel like.

It’s me Sam………..Kanya, who did everything just to separate Prat from you. Why you know, same old crap…. Because I simply love you. And believe me I wouldn’t have confessed a word if I hadn’t heard you and the doc talk regarding my last few months of life. I don’t care whether you think me a selfish inhuman creature. But believe me I didn’t want to hurt you. I thought Prateeksha would go to jail. I went to Prat’s house. I convinced her father that you were not suitable for Prat. He believed me because by then I had been recognized as Prat’s best friend. And he also expressed his opinion about you. Thus we planned to separate you both. He assured me that he will make Prat sign some papers according to which she would be forced to draw her back from the case and you would be released on bail. After that I could take the place of Prat by consoling you that Prat betrayed you.

What a fool I am!!!!!!!

How can I even think of taking her place and moreover how can I be happy by giving pain to my own best friend? I didn’t understand this at that time. But unfortunately her father also fooled me. He simply wanted his daughter to be safe. So he framed the case in such a way that you were the only one trapped. I pleaded in front of him so many times but he only gave false assurance. And you were imprisoned.

Believe me baby I did not want to hurt you. Never can I dream of doing so. But the problem was that you did not understand this and I became mad. You thought since Prat was wealthy and gave my tuition fees, she is great. But I didn’t have money so was not able to prove anything to you. Neither had those costly dresses nor was I smart neither beautiful like her.

But can you tell me what my fault was? The only thing I can think of is that I loved You with all my heart.

I know when you will get this letter, you’ll b every angry but it’s my request that do not hate me. You do not have to love me but please do not hate me.

I am a failure, I know. Why you know? You remember when your temples were burning with fever and me, sitting beside you whole night taking care of you. But the tragedy is that even then you were murmuring Prat’s name. You didn’t even take my name for once. Anyways I don’t regret, at least God gave me the right to share your pain. I am thankful to Him. Prat was with you all the time, you remembered her in every breath you take.

I can only draw one conclusion………….You couldn’t love me because you couldn’t hate Prat even after the pain she gave you. And this happened why you know? Because she never gave you any pain, she always loved you. I read in some book that a relationship cannot be nurtured on the grave yard of another. It is quite obvious that no relationship is successful if it is one way traffic, however strong or intense it is. Throughout my life I loved you but one wrong step I took was that I never proposed you. So at least you can blame me completely from you’re your heart.

Try to forgive me if you can.

Yours forever

Kanya.

After reading the letter all the three characters turned into frozen puppets. They could not even move, as if the Puppet player is lost or the threads to make them move are torn forever. Everybody present in hall of 36, B.C. Road could not even meet each others eyes.
Kanya is dead. The irony of life is that we think when we die we feel relieved and have no responsibilities. But the reality is that, when a person dies it is his family or friends who have to face it. Besides when a death of a person reveals the untold truth of decades, it becomes more unbearable.

Prateeksha’s father is dead 5 years ago. She had loved him like her ideal man. But know she repents to be his daughter. But that is of no use. The vice which had been done is irreplaceable. Moreover there is no logic in blaming a dead man.

Sammy’s life has already been ruined. Nothing can be compensated. He has lost his 30 crucial years, his family, his love and everything a man can have. And finally he again lost a friend. A friend whom he had believed for so many years, turned into an imposter.

But dear readers have you ever thought of Soumyajit. He might have gone through a hell. So many things might have crossed his head. Soumyajit thought that if once Prateeksha says that she would like to leave him and go with Sammy, and then what would he do. He thought he would never be able to stop her neither would his nature support that. But he would never be able to leave without her. But still he thought that perhaps his entry in Prat’s life was a part of the nasty play performed by Prateeksha’s father.
But suddenly something happened which changed all these three lives and this time forever.

“What would you like tea or coffee?” Prateeksha broke the silence making the two men stunned.

“What do you mean?” Questioned Soumyajit

“I simply asked that will you people take coffee or tea because I am too exhausted and would go for a cup of black coffee”

This strange straight behavior tensed Soumyajit more. As Prateeksha was coming with the tray, several decisions were hovering in his mind. Then he decided to make the decision.

“Ok, Prateeksha I have decided to,” Prateeksha interrupted,

“Stop it, from the beginning I am being subjected to several decisions and all being taken by men. Sammy decided to take everything on his shoulder to save me, never asked me once, and became great in front of his own eyes and the God. Baba decided to fight for Sammy and cheated me. And now you Soumyajit”

“Listen to me I want you to be happy”

“Oh! Yes everybody have been thinking of making me happy but have any of asked me what will make me happy? No. Then what are these sacrifices meant for. Why don’t you understand that I also have the ability to decide? And this time I will decide. Sammy what you want to do know? That means have you thought of any job or anything?”

“Prateeksha I’ll leave Kolkata tomorrow. In Dehradun Kanya and I used to run a small printing press. I’ll continue with that.”

“Very good, and do come for the pujas to Kolkata.”

“Yeah sure, and thanks for everything Soumyajit”

“Thanks, for what?” Soumyajit surprised.

“For grooming my Prat into your Prateeksha” And Sammy left.

“I better take a shower, I am too tired.”

“Very well, meanwhile I’ll finish my office work.”

After this everything started running as usual. Some of the readers may feel hurt that I separated Sammy and Prateeksha. But can you tell me if such thing happens in your life what you would have done. Give it a thought.




The End